Some scenes and corni comments on life as a horn player . . . 
A tender moment with my first love. I don't remember the girl, but I'll never forget my first horn.
  I was never much of a hunter. That cwazy wabbit was always too fast for me.
When I was a student I used to serenade my girlfriend and her mom with Kopprasch in the alley. I think her mom just wanted to keep an eye on us but I don't care what anyone claims, I am NOT the father of that dolly.
My teacher always encouraged me to perform in public whenever possible. We would often tour the local gardens to entertain the ladies or just for the sheer joy of playing duets.
One of my first gigs was with this band. We liked to serenade the lovers in the land of the giants. Most of the time they would reward us with the contents of their really huge chamber pots. I still have that horn, by the way. It's an Alexander single F 
  After a shower and dry cleaning we'd always go out to celebrate at our favorite pub. There's my Alex single again. 
Uncle Elmer was considered one of  the best horned virtuosi in all Vienna.  His specialty was the Moozart horn concertos.  Here he is milking them for all they're worth on his Vienna pumpen valve single F.   I never knew how he was related or why we called him "uncle."  In his day job he managed the local glue factory and Aunt Elsie was a cheese monger.   I heard that on one bitter cold winter night Uncle Elmer went out to the barn and slipped into a nice warm jersey. When Aunt Elsie found out she jumped over the moon. After that Uncle Elmer just threw himself into his work at the glue factory.  It was all very sad.
One of Uncle Elmer's favorite teachers was the great Prof. Wolfgang Eisenlippen, principal horn in the Wiener FillaMonica.  He is shown here (above left) with two other Wienies performing as the Böse Arts Trio.  Unfortunately this was not a good time for the Trio: Prof. Eisenlippen was having a bad hair day,  the bass player was in a snit and not speaking to anyone and the flute player, well he's just had a few too many "head joints."     It is said  that Prof. Eisenlippen  was responsible for founding the school of horn playing that later included the great Prof. Eric von Schmutzig and Prof. I. M. Gestopftmitscheist, and that he performed the Long Call of Siegfried at the Bi-Roy Festspiel so many times that he began to look like Richard Wagner himself.

I always have felt as one with my horn. Here we have a whole section of Sansone Single Bb five valves. What a sound! This drawing was made sometime back by Mr. Glen Morely.

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